1、信任。（彼此要相互信任，不能相互猜疑。）
Trust: Trust each other. Avoid suspicions.
2、坦诚。（有一天你做了你认为他、她会生气的事的话诚实的告诉他、她）
Be frank: Be frank about any mistakes you've done that might upset your partner.
3、宽容。（谁都可能犯错，当对方诚恳认错时就原谅对方，而不要死盯着不放）
Be Magnanimous: Everyone makes mistakes. When the other party admits his mistake, find space in your heart to forgive and forget.
4、理解。（他、她可能每天都会给你通次电话或发几个信息，但有一天或更长的时候却没有联系你时，请不要生气，要理解，因为每个人不可能整天为爱奔走也会有别的事情）
Be Understanding: Well, he/she can send countless messages and make endless calls to you everyday. But should there be a long period of silence, don't jump to conclusions and declare war. Understand, no one can just live and breathe for love. There's still a whole lot more to attend to in life.
5、空间。（给对方留点空间，世界就两种人，男人和女人，所以一个人不可能只有一种朋友的）
Space: Give each other some space. There're two types of people in the world, Men and Women. No one can live with just one type of friend.
6、珍惜。（要知道相遇是缘相爱就更不容易了，珍惜这份来之不易的感情，两个见面的时候不要只顾查看对方手机的通话纪录，要珍惜时间互相诉说思念，时间很快就会流失的）
Cherish what you have: It takes a great deal of affinities to get together, fall in love. Know that it's hard to come by. Cherish it. Don't waste your time checking each other's call history. Instead, cherish the time you have together, share thoughts, not impose. Time flies.
7、想念。（要想着对方，天冷的时候告诉他多穿点，如果你看到这日志了就给你亲爱的他、她发个信息吧，告诉他、她你想他、她了）
Miss each other: Keep your partner in mind. When it gets cold, tell him/her to keep warm, etc. If you've spotted this note, give him/ her a message and say: Hey, you just crossed my mind. :)
My ♥♥♥ 我會做到的=)
The author says: My Love, I can do it. =)
Sweet, huh? Reality check. As much as i love the ideas put forth, there seems to be some technical difficulties in execution. Let me spell them out:
1. The thing about social networking & instant messaging
Don't know if it is just me, but it seems hard to sit back and think good thoughts about the other half in certain pressing situations. Ok, at times i exaggerate but you be the judge. This is the situation:
You switch on your computer, Yahoo messenger signs in automatically. Auto reflex #2, log on to Facebook.
Then what do you see? You see your other half online. Yay!
On impulse, you send a "Hi" complete with a smiley.
Best case scenario, you get a "Hi" and a smiley back.
Most cases....you wait. Nothing. You wait. Nothing. You wait. Nothing....until the point where your shoulders have locked into position and you can't feel your legs and you might just turn blue from holding your breath. Nothing.
Impulse #2: Wild thought surge through the mind. Click on his/her FB profile and check through all that history.
Worse case scenario: You see he just posted a shoutout, or a comment, or he/she "liked" something seconds ago.
You think: hey, why's he/she avoiding me? What? i'm not worth saying 'hi' to? Trust? Understanding? Space? Oh man, everything flushes down the drain at this point. All because you needed a "hi". oh, must be complete with a smiley too. If not then it'll lead to another round of speculations. Crazy, i know.
What's the issue here? Rationally, i believe the opportunities to have real-time-instantaneous communication has robbed us of patience, and even meaningful communication. We expect everything to happen in a heartbeat. If it doesn't, we go berserk. Sad, isn't it?
I mean come on. What does "Hi" and a smiley, or whatever emoticons, mean anyway? What does endless 'Hahas' and "lol" and even "OMG", "okok" bring about?
It makes for really superficial, artificial, insincere kind of communication. Moreover, you can't really see what the person means behind all that shorthand and emoticons. Call me old school, or reverting to old school. But i'm beginning to really prefer real, in person communication. The type where you can see the person's face, gauge their real reactions, hear their voice, appreciate the tone. The mere presence, even if in silence, far surpasses any number of SMS or FB msgs. Really.
What am i saying? I'm saying if you want a long distance relationship to work, you will need time to build a solid foundation. Not through social networking, emails, sms and IM's. And come on, don't jump to conclusions when you see some posting on FB or whatever. Just take it as you're partner's whacky alter ego. We're never who we really are behind a profile page anyway. So don't take it too seriously.
2. The thing about people talking
Most people have a hard time standing up alone in life, thinking for themselves. Especially when the company you keep is aware you have another half, and are not the lest bit decent with lambasting questions after mindless questions about the other's whereabouts, plans, actions...whatever. It can get ridiculous. Even more ludicrous when they do not hold back on speculations. "oh, he/she hasn't contacted you for a whole week? That is plain unacceptable. You should tell him/her off for being so irresponsible. You should be informed." Man. These are very, very unhelpful remarks, that sadly, drives partners apart.
I've learnt from experience. There's actually 2 unequal portions in our hearts. 1 tiny one for positivity and 1 enormous one for negativity. All it takes is a hint of suspicion, anger, greed, hatred, stupidity and TAG, you're IT. You'll be caught in that mindless cycle where you second guess yourself, your partner, you create wild, vivid, senseless conclusions that drive you towards equally mindless actions which you will regret later.
All this, coz we chose to listen to what "people say". So yeah, listen but just for the entertainment value. Seriously, who knows your partner better? No one. Every single person, including yourself, have tunnel vision. No one sees the whole picture. If they did, you'd be making three bows to them every time you see them! So whatever it is, just give it time. Time will unravel everything. In th meantimes, just tend to other aspects of your life. You'll be happy you did.
3. The thing about understanding
Lots have been said about the need to understand your partner's character, predicaments etc. But when it comes to certain situations, one cannot help but wonder if we're just making excuses for him/her? Are there real issues that need addressing, which we have swept under the carpet in the guise of being 'understanding'? This one you'll need to figure out on your own. Coz again, it goes back to the question of building a solid foundation in the relationship in the first place. By that i mean actual communication where common ground is reached. Reality of it is this. Issues, well, they have this annoying habit, popping up all the time. Sometimes they get solved. Most times they don't. Regardless, they pop up. So what's the point? Understanding is always a WORK IN PROGRESS. in other words, it's never ending work. It's the 3 T's: Tiresome, Troublesome but Totally Awesome (when you worked things out, well...if you don't then it's TENSION.). But hey, you signed up for it when you decided to be the other half, so you have no choice but to make it work. How to make communication work? Well, speak openly, frankly but take out the drama. By drama i mean no wailing, weeping, screaming, shouting, threatening, whining, complaining, guilt-driven monologues, assumptions, righteousness,entitlement and all highly emotionally-charges forms of expressions. Just speak, like a normal, decent human being with a functioning brain and an open heart, even if you're just holding yourself together with duct-tape and keeping your spirits up with helium. You will thank yourself for saving yourself some dignity. Now if you're on the listening end, well, just damn well listen. Respond later. Reacting is for chemicals. Not humans. Humans respond. Nuf said? =D
There's actually a whole lot more to be said here but this will do for the moment. Here's a little quote i came up with just a moment ago:
Chaos is a given in this very existence, but you can choose not to participate.
