a thought

It's been a month, i guess.

Walked pass Shell Station Domino's Pizza and the familiar seat is there still.

Hmm~ lots of memories.

Almost makes me want to tie a yellow ribbon. :)

But you know, when you are 32 and when you make a decision at that age, it's rarely a brash decision. More often than not it's a carefully weighed-out decision with sights set on the bigger picture.

So yeah, it's so much easier to run back to the embrace of the familiar and be foolishly positive about the future.It's like an escape route from the uncertainties that the unknown holds. Sanctuary, some call it.

Yes, memories are compelling in that sense. No, they should not dictate the course of action we take. Nope. They are best left the way they are. Not re-lived. Why you ask? Simply because, we only choose to recall what we want to remember. It's prejudiced in that sense.

So, what's that old cliche? Yes...just live, right here, right now.

Here's to you my friend. Cheers! :)

A Personal Appeal

It's a lethal clash of wills and incorrigible assertions of individual/ constitutional rights this week. As with all noble courses, it starts with a person or a group with lofty aspirations which motivates a sense of urgency to take dramatic action. But what is a good story without an antagonist or maybe 2 thrown in to make it a blockbuster hit? Not to mention sidekicks for comedic effect and perhaps to even steer the story off-course? Sigh. Every character will have a story to tell. Every character will want to have their time in the lime light. That's when an inspirational matinees morphs into a senseless turkey of the century.

I know there is nothing i can personally do about this. I know there will be people who care, people who don't and people who are just jumping on the band wagon for the sake of doing it without really understanding the implications. Yes, yes, there will also be opportunist and sabotagers. I know it's pointless to contribute yet another piece of literature on a this stressful subject.

But you know, I just hope respect, patience and good sense will overule contempt, brashness and irationality throughout this ordeal. After all, there is a silent majority out here who will be very grateful if nothing untoward happens and that our normal routines are not unduly disrupted. It's a very small request. A very selfish one i'd admit. And no, i will not take to the streets to defend this right. I'm just appealing to the universe, that good sense shall prevail.

May our hearts awaken togreat compassion, wisdom and to joy. May kindness find reward, may all who's sorrow leave their greif and pain. May this boundles slight, break the darkness of their endless night. May all become compassionate and wise.

Here's to a safe week ahead for all.

STUCK!

6th May, 2011, Saturday.

Sent Herbie to the mechanic's for a follow-up check on the gearbox.

Since i'm in KIP, got Big Guy to pick me up from the workshop to his apartment, where we hung around a few hours before heading back to Kepong for dinner a nice mummy dinner.

7.10pm, we got into the lift.

Again, some brain-damaged creature pressed the button for every single floor. So, from the 5th floor we stopped at level 4, 3, 2....then...at 1.

Guess what, we stopped at 1. And stayed stuck at one for the longest time ever.

If you look at the picture above, you will notice two layers to the lift door. The outside portion is the one we see at the lift entrance. The one inside is the actual lift door. Both layers are supposed to close simultaneously. But something happened. The door got stuck.

Oh, Big Guy and Big Sis are not shouting in fear, but sheer boredom. Thank goodness for PDA's and android phones. We had a karaoke session, a goofy photo taking session and even, yeah, gaming session. Amazing what you can achieve within an hour when there's nothing else you can do, except wait.

That's me. It was stuffy inside but at least it was clean. So yeah...

8.30pm, the door inside opened up. Thought i might see a knight in shining armor. *Grins*

Erm...turns out to be *groans*....never mind. The doors were open and there's dinner waiting at home. =)

The thing about that thing

Few days back i saw this entry in a friend's FB profile. Pricked my interest at many levels as i fall under this unique category and more so, prompted much reflection. Original text in Mandarin, translated by your's truly with some thoughts added in at the bottom.

不能天天见面的情侣要做到的事 ♥

Checklist for partners who cannot be together everyday.

by R u ｅ y、瑞 on Monday, January 17, 2011 at 10:09pm

1、信任。（彼此要相互信任，不能相互猜疑。）

Trust: Trust each other. Avoid suspicions.

2、坦诚。（有一天你做了你认为他、她会生气的事的话诚实的告诉他、她）

Be frank: Be frank about any mistakes you've done that might upset your partner.

3、宽容。（谁都可能犯错，当对方诚恳认错时就原谅对方，而不要死盯着不放）

Be Magnanimous: Everyone makes mistakes. When the other party admits his mistake, find space in your heart to forgive and forget.

4、理解。（他、她可能每天都会给你通次电话或发几个信息，但有一天或更长的时候却没有联系你时，请不要生气，要理解，因为每个人不可能整天为爱奔走也会有别的事情）

Be Understanding: Well, he/she can send countless messages and make endless calls to you everyday. But should there be a long period of silence, don't jump to conclusions and declare war. Understand, no one can just live and breathe for love. There's still a whole lot more to attend to in life.

5、空间。（给对方留点空间，世界就两种人，男人和女人，所以一个人不可能只有一种朋友的）

Space: Give each other some space. There're two types of people in the world, Men and Women. No one can live with just one type of friend.

6、珍惜。（要知道相遇是缘相爱就更不容易了，珍惜这份来之不易的感情，两个见面的时候不要只顾查看对方手机的通话纪录，要珍惜时间互相诉说思念，时间很快就会流失的）

Cherish what you have: It takes a great deal of affinities to get together, fall in love. Know that it's hard to come by. Cherish it. Don't waste your time checking each other's call history. Instead, cherish the time you have together, share thoughts, not impose. Time flies.

7、想念。（要想着对方，天冷的时候告诉他多穿点，如果你看到这日志了就给你亲爱的他、她发个信息吧，告诉他、她你想他、她了）

Miss each other: Keep your partner in mind. When it gets cold, tell him/her to keep warm, etc. If you've spotted this note, give him/ her a message and say: Hey, you just crossed my mind. :)

My ♥♥♥ 我會做到的=)

The author says: My Love, I can do it. =)

Sweet, huh? Reality check. As much as i love the ideas put forth, there seems to be some technical difficulties in execution. Let me spell them out:

1. The thing about social networking & instant messaging

Don't know if it is just me, but it seems hard to sit back and think good thoughts about the other half in certain pressing situations. Ok, at times i exaggerate but you be the judge. This is the situation:

You switch on your computer, Yahoo messenger signs in automatically. Auto reflex #2, log on to Facebook.

Then what do you see? You see your other half online. Yay!

On impulse, you send a "Hi" complete with a smiley.

Best case scenario, you get a "Hi" and a smiley back.

Most cases....you wait. Nothing. You wait. Nothing. You wait. Nothing....until the point where your shoulders have locked into position and you can't feel your legs and you might just turn blue from holding your breath. Nothing.

Impulse #2: Wild thought surge through the mind. Click on his/her FB profile and check through all that history.

Worse case scenario: You see he just posted a shoutout, or a comment, or he/she "liked" something seconds ago.

You think: hey, why's he/she avoiding me? What? i'm not worth saying 'hi' to? Trust? Understanding? Space? Oh man, everything flushes down the drain at this point. All because you needed a "hi". oh, must be complete with a smiley too. If not then it'll lead to another round of speculations. Crazy, i know.

What's the issue here? Rationally, i believe the opportunities to have real-time-instantaneous communication has robbed us of patience, and even meaningful communication. We expect everything to happen in a heartbeat. If it doesn't, we go berserk. Sad, isn't it?

I mean come on. What does "Hi" and a smiley, or whatever emoticons, mean anyway? What does endless 'Hahas' and "lol" and even "OMG", "okok" bring about?

It makes for really superficial, artificial, insincere kind of communication. Moreover, you can't really see what the person means behind all that shorthand and emoticons. Call me old school, or reverting to old school. But i'm beginning to really prefer real, in person communication. The type where you can see the person's face, gauge their real reactions, hear their voice, appreciate the tone. The mere presence, even if in silence, far surpasses any number of SMS or FB msgs. Really.

What am i saying? I'm saying if you want a long distance relationship to work, you will need time to build a solid foundation. Not through social networking, emails, sms and IM's. And come on, don't jump to conclusions when you see some posting on FB or whatever. Just take it as you're partner's whacky alter ego. We're never who we really are behind a profile page anyway. So don't take it too seriously.

2. The thing about people talking

Most people have a hard time standing up alone in life, thinking for themselves. Especially when the company you keep is aware you have another half, and are not the lest bit decent with lambasting questions after mindless questions about the other's whereabouts, plans, actions...whatever. It can get ridiculous. Even more ludicrous when they do not hold back on speculations. "oh, he/she hasn't contacted you for a whole week? That is plain unacceptable. You should tell him/her off for being so irresponsible. You should be informed." Man. These are very, very unhelpful remarks, that sadly, drives partners apart.

I've learnt from experience. There's actually 2 unequal portions in our hearts. 1 tiny one for positivity and 1 enormous one for negativity. All it takes is a hint of suspicion, anger, greed, hatred, stupidity and TAG, you're IT. You'll be caught in that mindless cycle where you second guess yourself, your partner, you create wild, vivid, senseless conclusions that drive you towards equally mindless actions which you will regret later.

All this, coz we chose to listen to what "people say". So yeah, listen but just for the entertainment value. Seriously, who knows your partner better? No one. Every single person, including yourself, have tunnel vision. No one sees the whole picture. If they did, you'd be making three bows to them every time you see them! So whatever it is, just give it time. Time will unravel everything. In th meantimes, just tend to other aspects of your life. You'll be happy you did.

3. The thing about understanding

Lots have been said about the need to understand your partner's character, predicaments etc. But when it comes to certain situations, one cannot help but wonder if we're just making excuses for him/her? Are there real issues that need addressing, which we have swept under the carpet in the guise of being 'understanding'? This one you'll need to figure out on your own. Coz again, it goes back to the question of building a solid foundation in the relationship in the first place. By that i mean actual communication where common ground is reached. Reality of it is this. Issues, well, they have this annoying habit, popping up all the time. Sometimes they get solved. Most times they don't. Regardless, they pop up. So what's the point? Understanding is always a WORK IN PROGRESS. in other words, it's never ending work. It's the 3 T's: Tiresome, Troublesome but Totally Awesome (when you worked things out, well...if you don't then it's TENSION.). But hey, you signed up for it when you decided to be the other half, so you have no choice but to make it work. How to make communication work? Well, speak openly, frankly but take out the drama. By drama i mean no wailing, weeping, screaming, shouting, threatening, whining, complaining, guilt-driven monologues, assumptions, righteousness,entitlement and all highly emotionally-charges forms of expressions. Just speak, like a normal, decent human being with a functioning brain and an open heart, even if you're just holding yourself together with duct-tape and keeping your spirits up with helium. You will thank yourself for saving yourself some dignity. Now if you're on the listening end, well, just damn well listen. Respond later. Reacting is for chemicals. Not humans. Humans respond. Nuf said? =D

There's actually a whole lot more to be said here but this will do for the moment. Here's a little quote i came up with just a moment ago:

Chaos is a given in this very existence, but you can choose not to participate.

Taxi to new insights

I count my self lucky. Car-less but still lucky. Seriously lucky.

To start off, Mr. Nice Neighbor decided he will send me to work Monday to Thursday.

Yeah, seriously. No Joke. Kepong to Kota Damansara, right up to the door step. Mental note to buy something nice for his kids when dear Herbie's discharged from automobile ICU. Semangat Kejiranan still exist in KL...how cool is that? =)

Anyway, yesterday marked the beginning of my Public Transport Adventure. Actually, it should be named: My Getting to Know My Fellow Countrymen Adventure. You see, zipping around town in the armored comfort of my own car sort of shielded me from REALITY.

Again, i have to reiterate: Life is plenty hard for so many out there. My heart goes out to all of you.

Here's why.

Monday

Flagged down a taxi at Cova Square, Kota Damansara yesterday and there, my education began. The Taxi driver insisted there should be a RM 3 surcharge coz he's gonna go back with an "empty taxi" from Kepong. Ok, fine. Everyone's gotta earn a living, i won't grudge you that.

"Sometimes customers trap us. Last time i sent a person back to Kepong, he made me go to the rural places with really bumpy roads. I had to spend 40 minutes trying to find my way out. 40 minutes, wasted. You know how much business i missed?" Complained the Taxi Driver.

"I don't mean you, miss. I'm just saying, sometimes people purposely trap us!"

I kept quiet. Sometimes silence is best. Let the man vent whatever pent-up frustration he has.It's nothing personal. But you know, i realized the poor man must be under a whole lot of pressure to grudge 40 minutes lost. To the point where he felt he was "tricked/trapped". Come on, you think the passenger wanted to live in such a remote place? I'm sure he didn't mean to ambush the taxi drivers.

It must take a whole lot of disappointments to drive a person to this extreme pessimism, i believe. One can only fathom what challenges this pakcik is facing. *Shrugs*

Tuesday

Decided to do a bit of walking. Walked from Sri KDU to Sunway Giza, a cool 2km. Wanted to take a bus back to Kepong but apparently that would mean commuting all the way to KL, switch bus back to Kepong. An exaggerated U-turn. Now i see why commuters complain about our less-than-perfect transport system. Ok, fine. Taxi it is.

A jolly pakcik who mentioned none of the RM 3 surcharge biz. Instead, we chatted about the virtues of Chinese Tea. Apparently this pakcik has been drinking Chinese Tea close to a year. Swears by it's miraculous functions. Helped him ward off hereditary diabetes, high blood pressure and hypertension.

To me, what's miraculous is a Malay, speaking to a Chinese, singing praises about an ancient beverage Gen-Y Chinese have long flushed down the drain. One word: Muhibah. =)

Wednesday

Had two important on-line meetings an hour after class at 12pm. The choice is to just flag down a cab at Cova Square, directly opposite the school or walk all the way to Sunway Giza again to do the exact same thing. It's only RM 3 savings anyway. Decided to walk.

Actually beginning to enjoy walking. Same old 2.1km walk. Blazing sun beating down my neck. Exhaust fumes infusing every breath i take in. The sound of various horse-powered engines zooming pass. Yes, a BMW 3 series sounds distinctively different from a Toyota Alphard. A Comel whizzes, a Kawasaki Ninja vrooms. I can actually stop and read what the banners are screaming. There's actually all sorts of foliage with a delightful burst of colorful flowers growing out of every conceivable plant. Ok, might just be weeds but there's something crazily romantic about the whole scene.

"Why don't i make this a habit? Save some carbon miles." The noble thought formulated in my naive mind. Haha~ as quickly as that thought popped up, reality burst it. Come on. Who wants to pay RM 14 one way, EVERYDAY. Who's gonna send me to work? What if it rains?

OMG! Meeting's at 1pm. It's 12.30pm, i've just reached Sunway Giza. Where on earth are all the taxi's when you need 'em? Panic stricken. More sweat irritated my already soaked back. 5 minutes passed. Felt like forever. A taxi pulled up. Thank goodness it's a good natured Indian driver who prefers to just shut-up. haha..i was really nervous about being late for the meeting. So yeah, not in the mood to talk. Anyway, made it in good time for the meeting.

What really set me thinking was this. As pleasant as the whole walking experience is to me, i do realize it is only so coz it's just a temporary arrangement for me. I will get my car in a few days time and all this, will just be an option. This whole experience is nothing but a "tourist" taking in the sights and "trying to live like the natives". It's like a novelty. Not a necessity.

Totally not so for the hordes of people who DO rely on public transport with NO OPTIONs to help them see things in a different light. What's that like, i can only guess, though i doubt i will ever understand. So yeah, i am lucky. Extremely lucky.

Thursday

Today marks the last day of my circumstantially-imposed public-transport adventure. Ended on a very thoughtful note. Same long walk. Same taxi ride. But different insight. Today, it's another Malay pakcik. This time, it's a Malay pakcik who speaks impeccable English.

This pakcik came all the way from Kedah, Kampung Pendang. Owns a padi field, a chicken farm with 100 chickens, a tiny fruit orchard with durians, mangosteans and rambutans and a tiny vegetable plot. Hang on. What's a productive land owner doing here driving a taxi in big, dusty KL?

He has 4 school going children. Eldest boy aged 26, doing his Phd. engineering. 2nd daughter in Ukraine doing her Medical Degree. 3rd son studying in USM, doing his architectural degree. Youngest is 14, a top student, still studying in Kedah. oh, yeah, only 1 wife. *grins*

"I need additional income. Got to make sure my kids finish their education. Just my padi field and the chickens, not enough. In fact i miss my kampung. I miss my friends, my life back there. Everything we needed came from the land. From the farm to the table. Everything is very fresh. No one needed to workout at the gym. The padi field made sure everyone's healthy. My grandfather is 90+, still walking, still cycling. We may be kampung people, but we're all very healthy, very happy. I believe we are rich that way. But my kids, they want a better life. As the father, it's my obligation to help them fulfill their dreams. End of the year, my contract ends. I will go back to Kedah. My two elder kids would have graduated," confided the taxi driver.

I wish him all the good fortune in the world.

Everyone has a story to tell. Everyone faces their fair share of challenges.

How we handle these unending challenges are very personal choices.

So, before we judge another soul, take a walk in their shoes.

It's very telling.

With that, i end my little report on my insignificant adventure. Till next time. =)

Not exactly my day

It's just not my day.

Woke up feeling like the will and body are separate entities. Showered and drove to the mechanic's coz he called in the middle of the night asking for a huge favor to return his power tools conveniently left in my car booth. On the way there, the car radiator meter shot dangerously to red. $h!t. Made it to the workshop and guess what, it's locked shut. Called the mechanic. "Oh, you're in front of my workshop....errr...sorry....i'm still in KL." Yeah, sorry. I'm sorry too. I'm sorry i didn't just stay in bed, or have a leisurely breakfast, or watch Oprah...whatever.

Drove over to Big Guy's apartment to drop off the power tools so dear Mr. Mechanic can pick it up from there. Meter shot to red. Grrr.....was thinking to myself, "I'll make him take off RM 30 from my bill, delivery charges."

Ok, pushed my luck and drove back. On the way mum wanted breakfast, so called my trustee kopitiam and placed an order for nasi lemak to be picked up on the way. Car started doing Mambo Number 5. Pulled up at the petrol station. All the McGyver and Worst Case Scenario better not be a waste of time.

Popped the bonnet, $h!t. It's steaming hot. Ok, i've seen the mechanic do this before. Went to the tap with 100 plus bottle in hand, filled it up. Watered down the radiator. Forget the facial this week. There's enough steam to open up any pore for anything to flow out. Hmmm...wonder if stubborn flab flows out that way too? Ideas....

3 giant bottles later, tested the radiator cap with a rag. Ok, all clear. No signs of gurgling, spurting fountain like threat...YET.

Was silently congratulating myself when suddenly the cap popped and there...the Fountain of Youth, right before my eyes. In this sad case it was the fountain of rust. Geez...now i know why the radiator is heating up even though it's always full. It's full of rusty water. Rust = metal. Metal heats up faster than just plain water. No wonder Mr. Mechanic says it's time for the car to go to automobile heaven or a painful overhaul. Painful to my pocket that is. So yeah, i'm sorry i didn't just stay in bed.

Back to the story. Thank goodness i dodged in time. If not i'll be blogging for a face transplant donor. Thought it would be a disaster but hey, wasn't as bad as i imagined. Whatever is supposed to be under the hood were still under the hood and in tact...ok, except for the radiator cover that was stuck under some pipes. No biggie. Retrieved it with my trusty bamboo stick (this is another story all together).

Moved on to rescue mission stage 2. Got another big bottle of water and filled up the radiator. Not enough, one more bottle went in. That's when i realized, not gonna help. Coz i could see the rust floating up...again. I knew this would just buy me enough time to pick up breakfast and head home...if i'm lucky. Popped the radiator cap on and signaled for mum who's enjoying the air-conditioning in the petrol station convenience store. Strangely, the men at the attached mechanic workshop left me alone to my own devices and did not offer any help. Maybe i looked like i knew what i was doing. *Grins*

"All done?" Mum asked. "Acid test, see if the engine will start or crack lar." I replied.

Well, it started. I was hopeful once more. The meter behaved until about 3km down the line, started to threaten to go red again. At least we reached the Kopitiam. Mum jumped down to pick up the food while i parked and switched off the engine, and ....PRAYED. what else? I mean, who wants to be stuck on a Sunday with nasi lemak on board, not knowing if i'll be scorched to death by the sun or drowned by unexpected thunderstorm? Which by the way is happening EVERYDAY.

"Let's go." Mum jumped back in. "Ok...." engine revved to life, and so did the meter. So close to red. I made a dash for it. Seems the faster i went the more time i buy to stall the meter from going red. There's hope....then, traffic light turned red. Wait. RED. It's like a signal for Mambo Number 5 again. Imagine an old man with hypertension, diabetes and whatever nonsense an aged body can develop on Viagra. What happens? Stroke, right? Same thing. Poor Herbie suffered a stroke. Right under that God forsaken MRR2 with all that green wire mesh that says, hey, it's not gonna collapse..which will all know one day it will. I prayed. No, a different type of prayer. Ok, ok, i sweared. But silently. Coz mum's just beside me...don;t wanna get an earful to mind my language at this point.

Like all good ER doctors, what do you do when a patient goes under? Try resuscitation right? Peddles? Tried the ignition. Spurted back to life. Ok, i'm just 5 minutes away from home. Give me 5 minutes and you can RIP. That's the deal i struck with Herbie. Tore down the road at breakneck speed. Come to think of it, the gods must have been smiling down on me coz i had to pass 3 sets of traffic lights and they were all green. Hmmm...swearing helps...hahah...nah. Thank Buddha.

Got home with the meter needle just pointing at red. Mum fumbled for her keys. Come on. Mum opened the gate. Come on. Mambo number 5 kicked in again. Come on. Steered the car in position to enter the house porch. Mambo number 5 at it's height. Come on. Don't die diagonally across the road, i prayed. It's the Jitter Bug now. Eased Herbie into the porch. I think Herbie saw a hot car. It whistled. I pulled the plug. Herbie went down.

So, with all that drama, we got the power tools to Mr. Mechanic, got breakfast and managed to survive the episode. As i'm blogging now my heart is still pumping nervously. My hands are still shaky. And i still believe staying home and facing the computer is the safest thing to do.

Anyway, Mr Mechanic will come with the ambulance to get Herbie to ICU tomorrow. It's gonna be a good 5 grand for Herbie's one week stay. But hey, Mr. Mechanic says he's gonna give me a 5 year warranty. So yeah, a grand a year. Don't know if i should laugh or cry.

Suppose it's better than getting a new car and replaying loans. By the time i'm done paying the new bugger might be doing the Soldier Boy on me. Sigh. Life.

Ok, all gloom aside, good things came about.

1) Friendly neighbor offered to send me to the train station to catch a cab for work until i get Herbie back.

2) I will get a brand new, overhauled Herbie in a week's time.

3) I learnt that certain maneuvers are best left to McGuyver and Worst Case Scenario team to carry out.

So, here's to a week's worth of Public Transport adventure ahead. Keep you posted. Cheers!

心無掛礙 The Mind At Ease

Liberating principles to live by. From one heart to another.

May you find peace and joy from this little sharing. =)

1、以美好的心，欣赏周遭的事物

Appreciate all that is around us with a glorious mind.

2、以真诚的心，对待每一个人

Treat everyone with sincerity.

3、以谦虚的心，检讨自己的错误　

Reflect on our mistakes with humility

4、以愉悦的心，分享他人的快乐

Share other’s happiness gladly.

5、以喜舍的心，帮助需要帮助的人

Help those in need with a joyously giving mind.

6、以负责的心，做好份内的事

Carry out our obligations responsibly.

7、以宽阔的心，包容对不起你的人

Forgive those who’ve done us wrong magnanimously.

8、以放下的心，面对最难的割舍

Handle the hardest parting with a mind of renunciation.

9、以无私的心，传承成功的经验

Pass on experiences of success unselfishly.

10、以不变的心，坚持正确的理念

Sustain proper thoughts with unchanging resolve.

11、以平常的心，接受已发生的事实

Accept all that has happened with a neutral mind.

12、以感恩的心，感谢所拥有的

Appreciate all that we have with gratitude.